Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Randomize
