also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
Randomize
