I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
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