My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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