have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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