The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
