so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
Randomize
