He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize