Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Randomize
