I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
Randomize
