Where is the hickey?
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Randomize
