True but thats because hes a fetus.
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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