You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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