Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back.
If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
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