I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
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