Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
