fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
Randomize
