Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
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