I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
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