All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
Randomize
