goodnight i made you a song goodbye
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Randomize
