Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
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