Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
Randomize
