How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
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