I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
Randomize
