I just pynch a tree in the face
so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Randomize
