Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
Randomize
