Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
Randomize