I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Randomize
