Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
Randomize
