I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
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