I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Randomize
