Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
Randomize
