i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
Randomize
