I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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