her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
You are the jesus of drinking
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
Randomize
