I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
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