hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
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