Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
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