I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
Randomize
