dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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