someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
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