If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
Randomize
