Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
Randomize
