So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
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