idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
I just found a bag of teeth...
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
