he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
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