I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
Randomize
