Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
Randomize
