Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
