sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
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