When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
I think weed is turning my hair brown
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
Randomize
