She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
Randomize
