I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
Randomize
