i just google imaged poop.
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
Randomize
