my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
