Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
So I just went to clothing optional bar
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize