mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
Randomize
