I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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