I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
