They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
