You just made me feel so damn special
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
Randomize
