Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
