and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
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