It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
Randomize
