Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
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